More displeasure

I don't know why it is, but I sometimes think people deliberately enjoy winding me up. Perhaps they get some strange pleasure out of it. It has come to my attention that there was much more to the argument I told you about yesterday than met the eye. I had a phone call last night from Gwyneth Gilhooley to the effect that her husband had spent Wednesday night in The Bell Inn (to watch some supposedly important football match or something). He was there with Martin (our lighting man) and - I am still incredulous - Gordon and David! It seems that the pair of them staged the said argument to get out of rehearsal to watch the game! I can't believe they would stoop so low. No wonder Gordon wouldn't answer the telephone yesterday - he obviously thought I'd discovered the truth much sooner. Well, I wouldn't like to be in his shoes when I catch up with him.

Some of you may have seen the article in the local press a few weeks ago about our trying to track down some of the harder-to-find props for the show. We generally do this sort of thing for all of our productions, even if we don't actually need anything, because it's a great way to publicise the show at no cost. They charge an arm and a leg for an advert, you know. Well, this time, the request was genuine. In addition, David is insisting that as many sound effects as possible are done 'live' rather than by record. This is easy with regard to things like doors knocking and bells ringing, but less so when it comes to dogs barking.

As we haven't had much of a response - well, any, actually - Sylvia has suggested I repeat the request on this blog, as this doesn't cost anything either. We are therefore looking for a dog with a good loud bark, a Morris dancer's outfit, a pistol, and a cockerel that can crow on demand. It's possible that the latter may have to go on stage with me for one scene, so it needs to look impressive and be seen by the back row of the audience. I could do with practicing with it as soon as possible, so if anyone out there has a large cock, can they drop me an email as soon as please? I'm getting desperate.

It was all going so well

Oh dear. It all "kicked off" last night (I think that's the common phrase these days, isn't it?). I'm not sure how it all started but I know how it finished - with Gordon and David storming out of rehearsal before we'd even begun. Our 'on loan' director, David Mumford, is a very easy going sort of chap so I can't imagine he said anything untoward. All I know is that they were having a discussion about the set just before we started and voices got raised. Which was not at all helpful to Felicity and Audrey who were trying to learn their lines for that night's scene (Audrey has enough trouble learning them at the best of times). I was too far away to pick up on it all, as I was at the other end of the hall chatting through costume requirements with Mrs Cavendish. She'd been having great difficulty trying to find a French maid's outfit until Thelma said we could borrow hers.

I've tried to ring Gordon this morning to get the bottom of it all but he's refusing to pick up the phone. I know he's there as his car is on the drive. Audrey said that David was trying to tell Gordon that it was vitally important that the rocket can fly in at the end of Act I and that Gordon got on his high horse about not having enough budget and that "it was never like this when Reverend Reg directed, he just left me to get on with it."

We had to cancel the rehearsal in the end. It's rather tricky rehearsing without the director, although we did wait for 45 minutes to see if he was coming back. We're due for another session on Friday so I must try and pour water on troubled oils and get this show back on the road.

Dance, little lady

I was moaned at by several members at last night's committee meeting for not having written an entry on the blog for the best part of a week. It amazes me that there are folk out there who think I have nothing better to do when we're rapidly approaching opening night (in fact, six weeks to the day). And, lets be honest, the weather was so unusually good for a bank holiday the last thing one wants to do is sit at a laptop. Actually, I decided to take a trip over to Bourton-on-the-Water - possibly not the wisest move as it does get rather crowded with tourists. Mind you, I'm sure from the looks of most of them they'd have been happier in Blackpool than somewhere charming like Bourton. I came across a fantastic place called The Dragonfly Maze which is well worth popping along to if you happen to be nearby (and I said I'd give them a plug because they put a poster up, unlike that charity shop in the high street). You can read more about the maze here: http://www.completely-cotswold.com/bourton/attract/maze/dragon.htm

Anyway, I am digressing, and hopefully this will make up for the lack of action. Which is something that can't be said of our rehearsal on Monday night. We finally started to choreograph the big dance routine for Act II (you didn't know there was a song in this extravaganza, did you?)! This involves Sylvia and Thelma in their roles as Inspector O'Reilly and ingenue Daphne and includes some quite tricky steps and some striking poses, one of which you can see here. Of course, you won't get the full effect until you see it costumed, complete with hats and canes, and the special lighting our director has planned together with our technical guru Martin. It's only fair to say that Felicity proved extremely useful in helping bring this routine to life as the only one amongst us with any significant dance experience. In fact, young Felicity has decided to run tap classes in addition to her Pilates classes in September, and there will be a reduction for those ladies who sign up to both (and apparently tap does wonderful things for varicose veins).

We have another rehearsal tonight, so I will hopefully post something again tomorrow. Oh, and in case you were wondering - you were, weren't you? - the subject heading is a song title by Noel Coward. Although that's not the song we're performing in the show, which is actually by Sandy Wilson. Between you and me, I'd rather use one of Noel's songs, and of course we had a big hit with our Coward-Novello pastiche musical a few years back with We Found Love And An Exquisite Set Of Porcelain Figurines Aboard The SS Farndale Avenue. But I was outvoted by our director who says that the authors, David and Walter, have specified which song we must use. I always thought art was collaborative myself and that it should encourage creativity and original thought, but there we are. What do I know?

Displeasure

I am not a happy bunny (I think that's the phrase, isn't it?). It seems that yesterday's supposed 'ghost photo' is a complete fraud and Gordon knew it full well. Apparently our future ex-publicity officer, Cynthia, saw how much media coverage this Edward Jenner ghost photo was getting and so cooked the whole thing up with Gordon in an effort to get extra publicity for the show! I feel rather silly for believing it, quite honestly, although I suppose their motives were honourable. The photo is apparently of the chairman of the Deep End Theatre Company which, as you may have read from the website at www.farndaleavenue.org.uk has lent us a director, and had nipped in quickly to see how things were going while I was out of the room doing something or other.

If anyone would be interested in taking on the role of publicity officer with effect from our next committee meeting, I'd be very pleased to hear from them. I'm already stretched as chairman, welfare secretary and health and safety officer as it is.

Ghostly goings-on

Some of you may well have seen articles in the national press or heard on BBC Radio Gloucestershire about a photograph taken at the Edward Jenner Museum in Berkeley that supposedly shows a strange, possibly ghostly, figure. If you haven't, you might like to go to www.bbc.co.uk/gloucestershire where you can see said photograph. The snapper says that there was no one present at the time. I never believed in such things myself, until last night, when I received an email from Gordon, our stage manager.

Anyway, it appears that our own rehearsal venue may also have an apparition of its own. When Gordon was going through the photos he and I took on Sunday - and we'll pop some more of them on here soon - he found something unusual about one of them. A sort of blur in the corner of the room. He blew up this part of the photo and discovered our own strange figure, seated in a chair. I don't remember seeing this personage there at all. Mysterious, isn't it? And he certainly looks very strange. Gordon is off to the Gloucestershire Echo to see if they want to run this story. Here's the part of the photo we're talking about.

Which also reminded me that The Playhouse, where we will be presenting our forthcoming production of Murder at Checkmate Manor - have you got your tickets yet by ringing 01242 522852? - has a ghostly history. That nice young man that runs the place wrote about it on the theatre's blog last summer. I seem to recall something about wrist slitting. Or was that just my wishful thinking while I was reading it?

Disturbing news

A most disturbing situation has arisen.

As many of you know, advance bookings for our summer production have gone throught the roof. We believe this is due to the fact that our little show has been featured in a National – though somewhat obscure – publication (which I still haven't managed to track down!). However, following a conversation with a Mr Bo Locques – editor of the Single Mens Union of Titwatchers – I fear we may be in a bit of a pickle.

Apparently, Mr Locques received a phone call from an "interested party" informing him of our forthcoming production entitled ‘Murder at Chicks Mating Manor’ in which I would be giving a classic risque performance. Controlling my raging indignation (a performance worthy of Celia Johnson) I explained that the play is in fact titled ‘Murder At Checkmate Manor’ and I will be giving a classic "Reecesque" performance.

Sadly, yet unsurprisingly, Mr Locques cancelled the seats reserved for S.M.U.T. on Friday 10th July and I fear we may have to vet several of the other block bookings. In an attempt to get hold of any stray members I thought I would put this bulletin on my blog. As for the mysterious "interested party" that rang Mr Locques - who identified himself as Graeme Wodenholt - I have my suspicions!

Act I rehearsal

I thought you might like to see a photograph of last night's rehearsal of a scene from Act I. Seen here (left to right) are Felicity (in the role of Pawn the butler), Sylvia (Inspector O'Reilly), Audrey (Mrs King) and Thelma (looking rather bored with the whole thing as Daphne). This is one of the few scenes I am not in, so Gordon let me practice with his new camera. Not bad, I think you'll agree.

You'll notice that our director, David - whom Sylvia has christened 'Lord Mumford of Farndale' for no particular reason - has even started to get the cast working with props! Apparently on Sunday we shall be running Act I for the first time and he will be thrusting even more bits at us. There's adventurous.

And a little update from yesterday's blog and the possibility of South Pacific on Ice. I received an email from a local animal trainer, Mrs Ellie Funt, who does wonderful things with horses and has suggested she could help us produce a real spectacle by reproducing the chariot race for Ben Hur! I gather they are doing something similar at London's o2 Arena - aka The Millennium Dome (what a waste of money THAT was) - later this year but without our added sparkle of the ice factor. Who needs to travel to the metropolis when you live near Farndale Avenue?

Christmas Spectacular

We had an excellent committee meeting last night at which I unveiled my plans for this year's Farndale Christmas Spectacular - South Pacific on Ice! I've already chatted to the council about making use of that plastic rink they set up in Montpellier Gardens last year (why we couldn't have proper ice, I don't know; this is Regency Cheltenham after all). All the ice skating work will stand us in good stead should Andrew - sorry, I forget you aren't on first name terms like I am - Lord Lloyd Webber agree to let me have Starlight Express next summer.

A reminder to my fellow actors and Thelma that there is a rehearsal for Murder at Checkmate Manor this evening and this coming Sunday afternoon. I know no one really likes giving up their Sundays but needs must with Sylvia away looking after her mother next week.

One additional piece of good news is that our President, Dame Viv, has kindly agreed to prompt for us. As you know, Dame Viv has always been a great believer in not having a prompt and expecting actors to know their lines properly and, if not, get themselves out of trouble. However, this being such a wordy play, I do think this safety blanket is wise and it will be lovely to have Dame Viv at rehearsals, especially as we don't see as much of her these days now she spends five months of the year with her sister in Bridlington.

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to all fellow bloggers (I think that's the right term) and surfers of the world wide web! I'm only just getting the hang of this technological marvel but fortunately Gordon Pugh, our redoubtable stage manager, is a bit of a whiz with most electrical equipment (the exception being, so his wife tells me, the washing machine and the iron).

Anyway, if you've found this blog, you are no doubt interested in the Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen's Guild and it's associated Dramatic Society, of which I am chairman. Of course, some people - those politically correct types - would prefer it if I called myself chairwoman. I don't mind either way, but I do object to being called The Chair. I'm not a piece of furniture, nor a fence at Aintree. Thelma Greenwood will keep calling me that at committee meetings and I'm sure she does it on purpose to wind me up.

I'm digressing again. Sorry about that. Suffice it to say that I shall be making postings here as rehearsals progress for our current opus, MURDER AT CHECKMATE MANOR, which we are staging at The Playhouse in Cheltenham this coming July. You can get information at www.farndaleavenue.org.uk or www.playhousecheltenham.org and your tickets by calling 01242 522852. We've had a few rehearsals already, despite the production being a good eight weeks away. Can't think why we've started so early but then we do have a new director who has some really avant garde ideas. We'll soon stamp those out of him.

So, come back regularly for all the latest news, gossip, fallings out, requests for help with finding those difficult props and possibly even some photos!