Health and Safety

As D-Day approaches (have you booked your tickets yet?) I feel I must mention Felicity who has been beavering away in the wardrobe with Mrs Cavendish. Acting, cooking, pilates, self help workshops, costume design and dressmaking - there really is no end to the girl's talents! We did encounter a slight hiccup in proceedings as our communal sewing machine had not been serviced for several years. The needle required replacing but Felicity just couldn't get it out. Anyway, good old Gordon came to the recue and showed Felicity how, with a few quick twists of the wrist, it comes off in a couple of seconds. As I pointed out to him, he hadn't had it off in ages which would explain why it was so very stiff. At this point Audrey rushed out of the room screeching hysterically.

I really do worry about that woman.

So, machine fixed and costumes well under way. Although, we did suffer a minor set back. Let me just say - when giving vital statistics to the costume department, certain cast members really would benefit from attending Felicity's class on Body Dysmorphia.

Everything else is now rattling along at a fair old pace but there are still one or two things that need licking into shape. Last night's rehearsal highlighted one scene in particular - the dance routine involving Thelma Greenwood and Sylvia Frobisher.Oh dearie, dearie me! Thelma seems to think she's the reincarnation of Margot Fonteyn whilst poor old Sylvia is about as graceful as a giraffe on an ice rink..... in a wind tunnel (could the director of our Christmas Extravaganza, "South Pacific on Ice", please take note?). I fear it's the most serious case of miscasting since that very odd Mr Polanski put Pamela Anderson and Arnold Schwarzenegger together in the title roles of his disaster that was "Romeo and Juliet....Judgement Day".

I have to say that all our sympathies lay with Thelma as Sylvia continually trampled her underfoot (the dancing elephants scene from Fantasia springs to mind). That was until the moment when Thelma pirouetted with her arms flailing about wildly and caught poor Sylvia a cracker across the face with her open hand. It knocked her out cold and we had to prevail upon the services of a passing vet on call. As Gordon will tell you, Thelma is an incredible slapper.

All things considered, I'm very pleased with the way things are progressing. The odd little obstacle merely serves to re-enforce our Dunkirk-like spirit. In fact, as our director keeps saying: "There's nothing I like better than when we all come together."